Holding Hands While We Fall Asleep

I’m not sure I’m qualified to give relationship advice as a one-woman-man for half my life.  I did, however, give this advice the other day to a young man who is on the front end of relationship life: Find someone whose hand you want to hold as you fall asleep…

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives… as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life
1Peter 3:7

18  May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Proverbs 5:18

Lucy always says you should marry your best friend.  Honestly, I always thought that was a bit corny.  And I want more than that, right?  I want to be married to my best friend, with benefits.  Now you’re talking.  I’m not saying marry your best friend-with-benefits, yet I am saying that marriage isn’t just about friendship.  It’s also about passion and the fruit of passion.

I was discussing this with a young man recently, as he is charting the course of his relationship life and trying to figure out what’s most important.  Which brings me back to Lucy and me.  Some years ago, I think it was after my hernia surgery when I was recovering, we put a pillow down the centre of the bed.  Tender times call for tender measures.  There was no spooning or the such for a few weeks, yet there was something more meaningful.  Lucy and I would fall asleep holding hands.

We still do it today.  Every night.  Long after the pillow between us has been removed, and irrespective of any other shenanigans which may occur.  Holding hands is better than sex, which seems like fighting words.  Don’t worry boys, I haven’t gone to the dark side…

It’s better because it will never stop.  If we make it to 95, we’ll be holding hands while we fall asleep.  And I want it.  Passionately. And so my advice to my young friend is to make sure he has found the woman whose hand he wants to fall asleep holding every night.

Lucy is my co-heir in the grace of life.  We have inherited grace as children of God and because we are partners in life, we are co-heirs in its grace.  Grace is a good term.

The unmerited favour of God is expressed in the blessing of sharing faith and life and love with another. 

We’re co-heirs in that grace.  Holding hands as we fall asleep.


Marc Kinna

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