Marrying Well

What does it mean to marry well?  Jesus gave himself for his bride – the church.  Men, are we putting our own wives before ourselves in submission to God?  Both spouses must submit to one another in love, and represent Christ to one another always.  Marry well!

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:25-33

When our daughter, Em, was younger – when she didn’t always have clear purpose or direction in her life, we used to say, “We hope she marries well…” She liked nice things and we weren’t sure that she was heading down a path where her own self-sufficiency was going to support her desires.  So marry well.  It was a half joke. 

And it helped me learn a great lesson…

When Em found hairdressing, she found the thing that married her gifting and her passion.  She seemed to excel at her craft, with some people even willing to drive great distances to be her clients.  Good for her.  Em was independent. Capable. On a good trajectory.  Heading up and to the right.

Parents often pray for their children’s future spouse.  It’s a good idea. Especially if you have challenging kids.  That future spouse will need every prayer you offer… Praying that prayer puts you in a place where you wrestle with what it means to marry well.

Marrying well becomes a matter of whether their spouse will be a follower of Jesus, and whether God brings the two together.  When you hardly influence and no longer control the lives of your children, you have to choose carefully what to make important. 

And what is most important is that they marry someone whom God intends and who loves Jesus and follows him…

When Em’s boyfriend, Vaughn, came to us to ask for her hand in marriage, we knew of his character and his faith.  We knew he was a follower of Jesus.  Vaughn told us that he intended and wanted to love our daughter as Jesus loves her. 

Ahh… that’s what marrying well looks like.  It’ marrying well when a man understands that his role in a marriage is to sacrifice for his wife, giving his life for her, lifting her up to God.  Many guys don’t figure that out until after they have been married for some time.

And this is a good reminder for all us husbands to think about how we love our wives each and every day.  Jesus gave himself for his bride – the church. Guys, are we putting our own wives before ourselves in submission to God?  Thanks for the reminder, Vaughn.

May you both submit to one another in love, and represent Christ to one another always. #VaughnandEm2016


Marc Kinna

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