Men, we have to sow adoring compliments if we want to reap the choice fruits of the garden. Tell your love why she has your undivided attention. Want an invitation upstairs? Adore your wife, and you will find the choice fruits will be in season more and more…
1 How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
descending from the hills of Gilead.
2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn,
coming up from the washing.
Each has its twin;
not one of them is alone.
3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;
your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil
are like the halves of a pomegranate.
4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
built with courses of stone;
on it hang a thousand shields,
all of them shields of warriors.
5 Your breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle
that browse among the lilies.
6 Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh
and to the hill of incense.
7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
there is no flaw in you.
9 You have stolen my heart…
16 Awake, north wind,
and come, south wind!
Blow on my garden,
that its fragrance may spread everywhere.
Let my beloved come into his garden
and taste its choice fruits.
Song of Solomon 4:1-7, 9, 16
Men: would you like an invitation to love? We see a recipe for love waiting to be followed here. And it seems to me that the linchpin is adoring compliments. Solomon’s bride invites him to come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. That’s what we’re looking for, guys, yet the bride doesn’t get to verse 16 without the preceding 15 verses.
In other words, we have to sow adoring compliments if we want to reap the choice fruits of the garden.
Solomon starts with a description of her beauty. Could you describe the beauty of your wife? He has studied her, watched her, perhaps across the room, perhaps while she engages with others, and he knows the intricacies of her beauty. His desire for her is fueled by the attributes of her beauty.
Now, we might not fully embrace the examples Solomon uses, and I would caution you from repeating his compliments to your wife. If you tell her that her hair is like a flock of goats, you will not get lucky. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Not in the near future. Be sensitive to your time and the metaphors of beauty around you.
Notice her eyes, her hair, her smile, and her lips. Her neck, her profile, and even her breasts: tell her why she has your undivided attention. Explain to her that she is altogether beautiful to you – there is no flaw in her through your eyes.
I wonder if we act toward our wives as if they have stolen our hearts, or if we act like we are entitled to their affection. We would do best to not get this wrong: Paul explains in 1Corinthians 7 that our bodies are not our own.
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
We are to yield to one another, yet do not twist this to think you can force yourself on your spouse. In Song of Solomon 4, the bride invites her husband into his garden. It’s his garden, yet the privilege of enjoying its choice fruits come through the invitation of his wife.
Looking for an invitation? Adore your wife.
Start by asking yourself why she attracts you. Study your love and then share what you see. After she bugs you with, “Well… what’s got into you?!?!” she will come around. Plant these seeds and water them daily.
If adoring compliments are your pattern, you will find the choice fruits will be in season more and more…