I can’t help but see myself in the one after God’s own heart. My heart longs for God and to live for him. But I struggle. I wrestle. My humanity, like your humanity, is so clear in the front of my mind. David the sweet psalmist of Israel knows himself and us so well…
1 These are the last words of David:
“David, the son of Jesse, speaks—
David, the man who was raised up so high,
David, the man anointed by the God of Jacob,
David, the sweet psalmist of Israel.
2 “The Spirit of the Lord speaks through me;
his words are upon my tongue.”
2Samuel 23:1-2 NLT
I was speaking with a friend recently and he mentioned these verses. I have been thinking about them ever since, and also of my friend’s thoughts on them. We hold David up as the man after God’s own heart, to quote 1Samuel 13:14. His throne is the throne upon which Messiah will sit and preside forever. He is the writer of the psalms and the one who was chosen by God against the odds and the choice determined by tradition. Even though he is incredibly flawed in character and behaviour, he is still held in high esteem. The tension is difficult, particularly in modern times in which we don’t have respect or tolerance for leaders who misbehave.
There is a glimpse here of how David sees himself, which is different from how others and history often paints him. He says later in this portion that his family was chosen by God – there is an everlasting covenant with him and his family which transcends his life. He can’t escape it, even if he wanted to. It just is.
The son of Jesse – the last son – speaks of his humble beginnings. The man who was raised up so high is the position of prominence and royalty he was called to. And David is the one anointed by the God of Jacob. David is a descendant of the wrestler. Jacob is the one who is pictured as struggling with God. David, as a descendant of the struggler, also struggled in his life. David has no illusions about who he is and what he has done. His sins are always before him. His own psalm 51 pictures God as proved right and justified to judge him. David does not see himself like those who idolize him. He is a wrestler with God.
I can’t help but see myself in the one after God’s own heart. My heart longs for God and to live for him. But I struggle. I wrestle. My humanity, like your humanity, is so clear in the front of my mind. My sin is always before me, and my hope is not in my ability to please God. I rest in him being pleased in me because of who he is. I cannot earn it. My struggles won’t get me there.
David is the sweet psalmist of Israel. He is the songwriter of his people. The songs David wrote, of ascent, lamentation, praise, and of the ever-present struggle, are set before us forever to express the heart of his people, but also of all people. This is what a songwriter does. In this, I have been dwelling deeply on what this means and my life as a songwriter, poet, and worship leader. One’s voice in singing and writing and leading songs is a shared voice of the people. If no one resonates with the words and music, if the meaning does not touch or express the heart of another, there is a gap in authenticity and lack of value.
I can’t proclaim that the Spirit of the Lord speaks through me based on my work and my art, yet God says he does. Perhaps not as David experienced in terms of prophecy and of Inspired works of a heavenly Canon, but God speaks by his Spirit through and in everyone. Joel, who is quoted in Acts 2, proclaimed that the Spirit is poured out on all people in the last days. May some of what I say and do and create reflect this incredible presence of God on earth.
My thoughts and view of David, and of myself are better informed by the wrestling songwriter’s view of himself and the world…
Amen
Marc Kinna
marckinna 